Godspeed

I’ve been working at my new nursing job for two weeks now and I love it. I was hired to do start of care assessments for a home health agency but what I’m really doing is meeting angels disguised as humans. I’m falling in love with most of them and it’s reminding me that even a city like Miami, which is pushing all my internal buttons, is filled with lovely people and many opportunities to focus on love.

I drive to the homes of our clients which translates to being in traffic a lot of the time I’m in my car. My friend, Kimberly, says my car is a church on wheels because it’s been said that with enough prayers and intention, one person can effect the attitudes of many people around them. So, every time I get in my church on wheels, and right now it’s Gretchen, my mom’s Volkswagen beetle while she’s in Canada, I set my intention for safety and smooth traffic flow. Believe me when I say it’s a challenge for me to maintain a sense of peace while driving in Miami. I’ve lived in many places and traveled a lot but I’ve never quite experienced anything like Miami drivers. The drivers here make New York City, notorious for its aggression and insolence, seem like the calmest, kindest place on earth. I am pushed, daily, to find a different way to deal with the anger I so often feel when confronted with a city that seems, in my opinion, to be mired in hostility.

I heard something on the show Addicted to Food recently that goes something like this: in any situation you can either react from anger or respond from love. I think about that almost every single day now. My goal is to come from love in every situation. I am far from that becoming a reality but I practice it every day, a lot. Here’s an example: I was walking with my dog, Ellie, yesterday morning. I tie her leash around my waist when we walk and have to keep focused in case something spooks her or she heads in front of me because I could end up eating the sidewalk like we did the first day we tried this. So, we’re walking and a man on a stand up lawnmower is coming toward us mowing the grass next to the sidewalk. Often, folks doing yard work will stop when I walk by, which I am grateful for. The noise of the mowers and blowers is loud and can send rocks flying and I always say thank you when they stop. This particular man did not pause or move over and Ellie jumped when we passed him, almost pulling me down. I instantly felt anger flare up. I walked past the man then turned around and got his attention and said “Señor, my dog got very scared,” I don’t know if he understood my English, but his hand flew to his heart and he knew what I meant. I could see by the look on his face that he was sorry and probably just hadn’t been paying attention. I moved toward him, grabbed his hand and said “Gracias Señor.” The interaction started with anger but ended with love. The whole thing took about a minute but I walked away filled with compassion and tenderness for a man who had put his hand to his heart when he realized what he’d done. I instantly forgave him. That’s what I mean by angels disguised as humans; like in my job, each person I meet these days seems to be an opportunity for me to practice responding from love. Will I do it each time? Probably not. Is it still my goal? You bet.